


Secret Worth Keeping

by Signel_chan



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Family-Changing Secret, Successful Careers for Successful Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 03:13:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signel_chan/pseuds/Signel_chan
Summary: Kaede knows that hiding anything from Shuichi doesn't work for long, but she has enough on her side to give keeping this secret a long-time shot. Except keeping it for too long would ruin any kind of surprise, and she kind of really wants him in on the news sooner or later, before everyone else in the world finds out.





	Secret Worth Keeping

There wasn’t a single thing about the way her life had currently shaken out that Kaede would consider changing, and that meant accepting a lot of little things that hadn’t ever sat well with her. She loved where she lived and who she lived with, she loved the fact that she was married to someone who meant the world to her, she loved that she was performing on stage every week or two with her name up in lights on the marquee outside. She wasn’t as fond of some of the gritter aspects of the slight fame she had, such as pushy “fans” or the practice schedule that oftentimes conflicted with the schedules of everyone around her, but if she gave that up she’d have to give up the parts she liked as well, and some sacrifices were going to have to be made somewhere.

Sacrifices like trying to keep a secret from her dear husband as long as she could without him deducing whatever it was that she was hiding. For most of the time they’d been together, they’d had a lot more casual time to spend with each other; it wasn’t until rather recently that things had changed and they’d both found themselves away from the other more often. While that meant that their together time was more sacred than it had been before, it also meant that whenever they weren’t apart, Shuichi was trying his best to figure out everything that Kaede had been involved in, whether it was an awkward conversation with a fan or some flattering compliment she’d received. Hiding anything right under his nose was an impossible task, she knew, but this time she felt like succeeding, even if for a couple days, would make the reveal all the sweeter.

The only issue with what she was trying to hide from this time was that it wasn’t something innocent like a small gift or maybe even plans for a date. She hadn’t gone out trying to buy him anything, and she hadn’t had the time to consider creating some romantic night for the two of them to share, and even if she had those were things that Shuichi was good at unraveling and spelling out for her. What she was hoping he’d be able to piece together was something bigger, something more dramatic, something that was going to change their lives in a much different way than getting married had.

It wasn’t a matter of him not being able to connect dots and pick up on small things, but rather him having the time to do it. When they were in a constant state of barely missing each other, her going off to practices and him doing his daily work, interaction through actual words was nearly impossible, and what she was hiding wasn’t something that he’d pick up on over messages. If they could just have a face-to-face conversation for ten solid minutes, he’d be able to catch that something was different about her and bring light to what it was, but until that could happen…well, it wasn’t like Kaede _wanted_ to deny him the chance to sleuth something exciting out for himself.

As she’d sit at her piano, running through the different pieces she’d be performing at her next event, her mind would get wrapped up over the idea of him not getting the chance to figure out what she was hiding from him in a timely manner. Right now, there were barely enough clues to come to the conclusion, but if he had to wait too long then the answer would be incredibly obvious (and he might get hurt that she hadn’t told him sooner). She’d be brought back to reality every time with a stern reminder from her director, her personal manager, whenever she’d hit the wrong key or get off her pace. “I’m sorry, I’m just, you know, thinking about a lot,” she apologized several times, her manager shaking her head when she heard the empty words. “This performance is going to be a big deal for my career, isn’t that what you said?”

“Yes, it is in fact the biggest deal you’ll have faced so far. The concert hall doesn’t just invite nobodies to perform intimate shows to their biggest donors, they invite only the most talented people they can find. The fact that you’ve been asked to do this as a young upstart pianist is simply unheard of, Kaede, and you’re sitting here practicing like this is your first week on piano.” The manager, a spindly woman named Gloria, walked over to Kaede’s piano bench before sitting down next to her, setting a comforting hand on her leg. “You excel at this performance, your life will never be the same. It’s as simple as that.”

“What will happen if I do well?” Kaede already knew the answer to what she was asking, but hearing the reminder was something that she was sure would make her focus less on Shuichi and the secret she had for him, and more on her piano work. “Bigger concerts, larger venues, more of a local presence?”

“You’re thinking too small! Whole orchestras honored to have you playing with them, fans across the globe fighting to get tickets to your intimate shows, that sort of thing! You’ll be shipped to all the biggest cities, all the concert halls of your dreams, and whenever you come home it’ll be a much bigger deal than this concert is going to be!” The hand on her leg gave a single pat before moving elsewhere, cupping Kaede’s chin and turning her face until she was staring Gloria right in the face. “You do poorly, and you’ll struggle to find any of that at any point in your career.”

Kaede struggled to nod, her head still being held in place. “I know I’ll do well, I just don’t know if I’ll do well enough to get all of that. And even if I do end up doing well enough, I…don’t think all that traveling is really in the cards for me right now.” She meekly smiled at her manager after she spoke, hoping that would be enough to get her head freed.

“You’ll get over your fear of travel, if that’s what it is. Turning down the chance to be a worldwide phenomenon, that’s more of a career suicide than bombing this concert will be.” Exactly as she’d hoped, her head was released and Kaede was able to get back to focusing on her piano playing, while her manager got up and began pacing around the practice room once more, wringing her hands as she moved. “The fact that you’d even consider doing that worries me, Kaede. You ever think about going on a long trip with your husband to get over your fear?”

“I’ve gone on a trip or two with him before,” she replied, eyes not moving from the music sitting on her stand. “Travel isn’t the problem, or at least, the overall act of travel isn’t. I’d love to go around the world to perform, but I won’t exactly be able to for very long, and then not again for a while, if that makes sense? Maybe it doesn’t make—”

She was cut off by Gloria loudly smacking one of her hands against the wall. “Kaede Akamatsu Saihara, if you’re about to tell me what I think you’re going to tell me, you better think twice about it. Your career is at the brink of going global, consider what you’re doing before you say it!”

“—okay, if you got it from that, then there’s no doubt Shuichi will get it the next chance we get to talk.” Kaede’s cheeks were lighting up with an embarrassed blush, having been called out like she had, but there wasn’t any going back in her mind. “I know the timing’s awful and you’ll never let me hear the end of it, but I’m happy with the decision I’ve made and I know he will be too, once he knows. My career can wait, really.”

“Your career can’t wait as long as you think it can. I’ve seen too many young ladies like you make this same mistake.” Her hand hitting the wall again, Gloria took a moment to calm down before she came back pianoside, right as Kaede began playing once more, all of her notes perfect as if getting her secret off her chest to _someone_ was enough to let her mind rest on the topic. “You have such natural talent, you’ll regret choosing family over music in a year’s time, just you wait.”

Kaede’s notes slowed down until she was merely sitting there, fingers gently resting on the next keys she needed to play. “No, I don’t think I’ll regret anything, I really don’t. I believe in myself that I’m making the right choice here, even if it’ll throw the timing of everything in my career off. What’s having to push back a world tour by a few months if the demand to see me is still there?”

“That’s assuming a lot, you might be old news by the time you’re ready to commit to a tour but…” Gloria sighed, watching intently as Kaede picked up where she’d left off, not missing a single note despite her pause. “Then again, you are easily the most talented pianist I’ve had the pleasure of managing. There’s hope for you.”

The praise felt backhanded, because she knew that what she’d revealed wasn’t being taken well, but Kaede wasn’t going to let it get to her. She loved what she did for a living, but she loved Shuichi and their life together more than she could ever actually love being a pianist; maybe her manager wasn’t going to be happy about their growing family, but she knew he certainly would be, once he found out. That was still the problem, finding a good time for him to get to figure that news out on his own, because she didn’t want to be the one to tell him and she didn’t want someone else dropping that on him. He was a detective by trade, of course he’d enjoy having a mystery to solve within his own relationship, especially as it was a very positive one.

But as things went, the opportunity for her to sit down with him and let him guide himself to that conclusion just wasn’t there. All her meals for the next two weeks were spent with music industry people, and by the time she was getting home she was dead tired and didn’t care that he wasn’t there waiting for her. She knew he was coming home each night, but he was crawling into bed next to her with barely a greeting before he was asleep, and by the time morning came he was already gone. That itself wasn’t a problem, she decided, because she’d much rather him figure out the news in some way that wasn’t speculating why she was sickly every morning not long after waking up.

The one thing that she had been able to get him to do was commit to a meeting at the concert hall where her big show was going to take place, occurring the afternoon of the show itself. Even though they hadn’t been able to talk in person, they had been sending each other messages during their busy time, and arranging that meeting was done under the promise that it was about the concert itself, about what he needed to do before it and to have guests at the ready for that evening’s performance. They couldn’t even show up at the venue together, her going over with Gloria and him having to attend by himself after finishing up casework for the afternoon. Their arrivals were at about the same time, and they were able to walk into the venue as a trio, none of them saying much as they were escorted inside.

Once they were at the stage of the large hall, Kaede was looking around with wide eyes, her hands fidgeting in front of her. “This has a lot more seats than I thought it would, seeing as it’s an ‘intimate’ performance,” she remarked, her shoulder bumping into Shuichi as she turned around to see that the seating area formed a circle around the entire stage. “Do you mean to tell me that there’s going to be _this_ many people?”

While Gloria was going on about how it likely was going to be a near-sellout crowd and that they’d all be paying good money to see the show, Shuichi was watching Kaede’s every move intently, seeing how she was processing her fear internally and only showing it with her eyes. "I think you’ll do fine, no matter how much of this space is filled,” he told her, taking a comforting tone with his words. “It’s daunting, I’m sure, but you’ve been working harder for this than anything up to this point. All the practice will be worth it.”

“I’d agree with you if I hadn’t been so bad at some of those practices! These people are going to come to the show expecting to see someone good and they’re going to get…me.” Having looked around the entire room, Kaede found herself locking eyes with Shuichi, who was still getting a read on how she was feeling just by seeing her face. “You can tell I’m nervous, huh? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.”

“You definitely look nervous, but there’s something else to it that I can’t quite place.” Shuichi reached to grab one of her hands but she pulled them behind her back before he could get either of them in his grasp, and he laughed at the failure as she walked away quickly. “No matter how nervous you might be, you’ve still got quick reflexes. Don’t want me holding your hand in case I hurt a finger, isn’t that right?”

“Oh definitely, it would be the worst to have a broken finger happen hours before the biggest show of my life so far!” She was laughing as well, hoping that her awkward behavior wasn’t a dead giveaway that she was trying to keep something hidden, but she already knew that Shuichi most likely had her secret pinned down without a word on the matter. To keep from spilling those beans, she had to work quick to move onto a different topic. “Hey, Gloria, do you have the tickets for Shuichi and our guests for tonight? I want to know exactly where they’re sitting, just in case I get a chance to check the audience.”

She shook her head, patting down empty pockets to show that she had nothing. “I know I’ll be backstage and that’s about it for where anyone’s going to be tonight. We’ll have to wait until the people who work with the orchestra come out to tell us about the show, they’ll be the ones with that information.”

“That’s fair, I’m sure they didn’t want to give anything out until they knew the concert really was happening.” Kaede knew she sounded nervous, she could hear the uncertainty in her own voice, but she didn’t want anyone to call attention to it right then. These two were the people she spent the most time with—Shuichi at home and Gloria whenever doing anything musical—and they both had to know that she’d be beginning to feel the pressure of what this night was meant to be. The biggest show she’d ever put on, in the biggest theater she’d set foot in as a professional, and she had more than just the show itself on her mind in that moment. “Where are they, anyway? Shouldn’t someone be out here to greet us?”

“I think they’re on their way now,” Shuichi commented, seeing a man holding a clipboard running out from the backstage portion of the theater, followed by several other well-dressed men. When the clipboard man went past the ladies without a word in their direction, he was confused, only for the confusion to grow when the man came to a stop in front of him. “Er, are you looking for someone?”

“You would be him,” the man replied, tapping something on his board. “Mr. Saihara, I presume?” Shuichi couldn’t see what was on the man’s clipboard but if it had his name, this guy must have been the one they were supposed to talk to about tickets, so he nodded to confirm his name. “Excellent, follow me, we have some things to discuss before tonight’s show, crucial information you must know before attending.”

It wasn’t exactly in Shuichi’s nature to start following some strange man he’d just met without any explanation as to why he needed to, but the man had already turned and was heading back where he’d come from. “I’ll be back later, I guess?” he told Kaede as he went in the direction of the clipboard man. “Don’t stress yourself out too much, everything’s going to be okay!”

She did give a reply, but whatever it was had been drowned out by the voices of the other men who’d come out to the stage, all of them talking about things that needed to be taken care of before the concert. That at least matched up with what he’d just been told by clipboard man, that there were things that needed discussion, but why was it that Kaede could have her talk out on the stage but he had to go elsewhere? “You’re rather slow, Mr. Saihara. I would have taken you to be faster on your feet,” the man said once they were in the underbelly of the theater, the walls lined with posters advertising past shows the hall had held over the years. “Don’t you want to get through the rote, boring nonsense to be able to attend your dear wife’s show?”

“I do, trust me.” Looking around their surroundings with the same awe Kaede had been looking at the seating capacity of the theater, Shuichi found himself getting fixated on something that wasn’t relevant to any of the posters. It was a floorplan for the theater itself, all of the seats color coded by section and labeled with different names. That reminded him that he still needed to know where he was sitting, but before he could ask about that the clipboard man held up his board and pushed it towards Shuichi’s face, making him lean back to avoid it. “What’s this about? Something I’m supposed to be reading?”

When the board did not move away, and was instead pushed closer to him, he had no real choice but to grab it for himself and go through with reading it. “The dress code for this evening’s festivities, Mr. Saihara. You and your guests, if you choose to bring them, are expected to dress no less than semi-formal, although dressing to a higher standard is preferred. I assume you have been informed of this prior to this moment?”

“Kaede mentioned something about it when she talked about having a show here, I’m positive that we all have something to wear to fit this code, or backup guests might.” He usually did try to dress to a nice level when attending any of Kaede’s shows, but this was the first time that an actual suit was being pushed on him as being the bare minimum. Thankfully he had one at home for if his detective work required that level of dress, but he wasn’t entirely sure that one of his guests would be as lucky. “Is this all that you needed to tell me about?”

“Not quite, sir. Follow me once more and I’ll explain further.” Shuichi barely had time to lower the clipboard before the man was off, going deeper into the tunnel they had entered before. He followed, trying not to get too far behind or lost, and soon they were at the back entrance to the theater. “This is where you will enter when you arrive tonight, in the vehicle assigned to pick our performer up from her studio in two hours’ time. You will come in here, meet with me, and I will escort you and your guests to your seats, which are…” He trailed off as he began back through the tunnel, Shuichi left with many more questions that he knew weren’t being answered anytime soon as he had no choice but to follow. When they got back out to the concert hall itself, no one was around, despite there having been a crowd in there not that long before.

The man took Shuichi to right in front of a set of lower orchestra seats, gesturing towards the closest one to the railing. “Row one, seat one. Your spot for the evening, sir. And for your guests,” he raised his hand slightly, “row two, seats one and two. The best seats for enjoying our performance.”

“You have to be mistaken, normally at Kaede’s shows we sit more towards the middle of the room. Shouldn’t the seats up here be for the important people?” Shuichi was handing the clipboard back to the man, no longer having any use for it, but even after taking it back the man seemed firm in his assertion that those were the seats. “Can I at least verify this with tickets? I don’t want to be—”

“Mr. Saihara, there is a reason I said you and your guests will be escorted in by me upon your arrival. Your tickets are in safe hands, and these are most definitely your seats. The significant other of whoever is performing traditionally gets row one, seat one, and their two guests get row two, seats one and two.” If the man was losing his patience he was doing a miraculous job of not letting it show, and Shuichi almost felt bad for continuing to question if he was being truthful or not. “You’ll be seated next to the namesake of the concert hall and his guests, and everyone else around you will be various benefactors of differing donation levels. It is only fitting you sit next to such an esteemed guest, seeing as it was his insistence that our performance go on as it shall.”

“I…don’t know how to take this, sitting right up front, that’s unheard of.” It was then that Shuichi turned to see where he’d be looking during the performance and saw that directly across from his seat would be the piano, meaning that he’d be able to see Kaede’s face the entire concert, from beginning to end. “She’s going to love knowing how close I am to her for this, if she even figures it out. Now, uh, do you know where she went?”

The clipboard man gave a single nod. “She and her manager should have left by now to get ready for pickup at the studio. It would be wise for you to begin to prepare as well, Mr. Saihara, unless you want to have to drive yourself back to the hall and risk losing your seat due to not being escorted in by someone such as myself.”

As that was not something Shuichi wanted any part of, he decided that he was going to heed that warning and go home to change into his outfit for the night. It was fortunate that he’d had to bring himself to the hall for the meeting in the first place, or else he’d be in serious trouble in terms of timing, but as he was heading home the thought that perhaps he should have given his guests fair warning crossed his mind. He did send them messages about the plans upon arriving at home, but didn’t receive a single response as he was dashing around the house finding the different pieces of his outfit that he needed to be dressed appropriately. The whole time he was there, thoughts of Kaede and what she was doing kept coming into focus, but he knew that she was in good hands with her manager, and that when they saw each other next she’d be ready for her biggest show ever.

Once he was as dressed as he was going to get, minus the loosely-done tie around his neck that he’d have to take care of once he had someone around him to make it look nice, he headed over to the studio, where instead of just seeing the usual vehicles outside he saw one that he was genuinely surprised was already there. When he got out and locked his car, the people in the other vehicle got out as well, the three of them meeting in the entryway to the studio building. “I’m glad the two of you made it,” he said to them with a slight bow to his head. “Today has been a little bit crazy and I almost forgot to remind you.”

“Then it must be nice that Kaede was able to take a moment out of her time to tell us what the plan was this morning,” Maki replied, her face turned so that she was looking away from where Shuichi was standing. “If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have known to meet here, or to find…these clothes.” With a dismissive hand she first motioned towards her own floor-length, form-fitting dress that she wore a jacket over to obscure the top half, before her gesture went to the gaudy eyesore that her companion was wearing. “Not like we would have had the time to get anything new, I suppose.”

“What are you talking about? We’re dressed to the nines right now, Maki Roll! It’s not really our thing but we’ve had to do it before and we’ll do it again and again if it means being there to support a friend!” Unable to see that her face had soured and she was giving him a side-eye that would have killed him had he made contact with it, Kaito did similar to what she had been doing by motioning to what he was wearing, but he seemed thrilled to be showing off his muted purple suit jacket, which was clashing with his dark pants and spaceship-adorned tie. “No one’s ever said a bad thing about these clothes and they’re not going to do it today!”

“Keep telling yourself that,” she muttered, before turning to face Shuichi properly, giving him a once-over with an accepting nod. “You cleaned up much better than I’d expected you would, minus the…” She was focused on the tie still hanging loosely around his neck. “Need someone to get that taken care of for you?”

He almost didn’t want to tell her yes, just in case her reaction was to tighten it to the point of strangulation due to being stuck attending this event when it was so formal. At the same time, he didn’t want to be seen as underdressed compared to the mismatched disaster she as attending with, despite actually wearing a matching suit, and waiting to ask Kaede or her manager for some help wasn’t realistic. That meant telling her that yes, he did need it taken care of, and she stepped in to properly tie the thing, while Kaito stood there spouting off something about the last time he’d worn the jacket he had on, about how that was one of the best days of his life or something to that effect.

It wasn’t long after she’d stepped back, having put the finishing touch on Shuichi’s outfit, that Maki’s attention had been pulled to the door they were standing in front of, her noticing that it was opening before either of the men did. “Step aside, the women of the evening are coming out,” she said, pushing Shuichi back with one hand while using her other arm to keep Kaito from trying to step forward. True to what she’d said, it was the ladies that the night was about coming out, but whereas one of them came out and went right past who had gathered, the other was hesitant in leaving the doorway.

“H-hey you three,” Kaede weakly said, giving them a wave. Her behavior was odd, and the immediate reaction Shuichi had was to try getting closer to her, but the moment he stepped forward Maki raised her hand towards him, threatening to push him away. “I wasn’t expecting you to be out here like this. I thought the ride was here, and that you’d be waiting for me in it.”

“It hasn’t arrived.” Answering bluntly and with few words, Maki continued holding her hand to block Shuichi from trying to make any sort of approach even as she continued bluntly making statements. “You look like you’ve been through hell, how many times have you vomited today?”

“Only twice, which isn’t bad considering how worried I am about this performance. My whole career is at stake here, you know?” Kaede was fidgeting as she answered, her eyes cast downward until she’d finished speaking, at which point she was trying to see what she could get from Maki’s expression. That question had been just pointed enough that she couldn’t be sure if she hadn’t just been called out on something or if she’d just been asked something that was a reasonable thing to be curious about. There was really no telling with how Maki was staring at her, eyes narrowed slightly but with an almost playful smirk on her lips that faded the moment she dropped her hand and Shuichi was able to make his move.

“You can’t let the nerves get to you like that, Kaede, it’ll really all be okay,” he said as soon as he could get his hands on her arms, holding them tightly in his grasp. “You have to remind yourself that it’ll be fine, you’ve been practicing and you’re made for this sort of thing, there’s nothing that can go wrong with your show!” He was gently shaking her with every couple words, causing her to immediately start to feel dizzy and a bit unsettled, but she couldn’t admit to him that his attempt at making things better was doing the opposite.

So she had to stand there and take it, having him remind her over and over that she could handle what she was going to do, that she’d been waiting for this opportunity her whole life, that everything was going to be smooth and fine. By the time he’d been convinced to back away (thanks to a threat from Maki, who had noticed that her reaction wasn’t exactly typical of her), she couldn’t open her mouth to express any thoughts on the matter due to the fear of throwing up once more and making it obvious that perhaps it wasn’t her nerves making her sick right then.

Of course, her nerves _were_ a part of it, but it wasn’t her being nervous about the show that was the true culprit in that moment. She was worried about someone else figuring out what was going on before Shuichi had the chance to come to the conclusion himself, or him figuring it out mid-show and making a scene of it. Not that he would be the one to make the scene, but she knew that if he connected the dots during the show, he’d turn to the person behind him and say something about it, and as that person had a one-in-two chance of being Kaito, that would be a guaranteed scene right there. At least, if it were Maki who got told during her performance, she’d have the courtesy to keep it to herself until the last applause had faded and the orchestra had left the stage.

All she could hope for right then was that no one made her speak until her stomach settled itself back down, and that if anyone realized what she was hiding they’d not say anything about it until after the show was finished. Naturally, though, there was no chance of both of those hopes coming true, not when unable-to-read-a-room Kaito was standing right there. “Say, Kaede, how’d you manage to score such a wild opportunity? One of the biggest concert halls in the area, with your name on the sign out front. That’s the stuff people dream of!”

She swallowed down, telling herself that she could answer him and be fine before she gave it her best shot. “It just kind of happened, really. I did my thing and they asked me to perform this show, there’s not much else to it.”

“Listen to her, she sounds like she doesn’t want to deal with you and your twenty questions right now,” Maki scolded, knocking a hand into Kaito’s arm, making him mutter something about how he didn’t appreciate his jacket being touched. “Leave her alone, you can talk to her once she’s done being scared of failure.”

Even with that warning, he didn’t stop trying to talk to her and ask her questions about how she’d managed to make a large dream turn into her reality. The ride over to the venue, with all of them sitting in the lap of luxury in the spacious back of a limousine, all Kaito tried to do was get her to answer the question he’d originally posed in a truthful manner. He was shot down by everyone around him, minus Kaede herself as she was too focused on keeping herself calm and not letting her worries and fear get too overwhelming. Having Shuichi sitting right next to her, his hand wrapped around her for comfort, did not do anything to make her feel better and was in fact making her feel worse, even though she wasn’t going to tell him any part of that.

If he was going to try to be comforting, she couldn’t push him away and make it obvious that she was hiding something from him. Hopefully he was under the impression that the only thing wrong with her was a bout of nerves before the show, but if he’d figured out what was going on without any other indication she wouldn’t be surprised. This wasn’t something she was going to address until after the concert was finished, so it was something she needed to push from her mind for the moment, but that was hard when there was so much else going on around her.

That ride to the backdoor of the venue felt like it took hours, even though it was relatively short, and upon arrival there were people opening the doors, people helping the whole group out of the car, people separating them and sending them off their separate ways. As expected, Kaede and Gloria were shuffled one way, while Shuichi, Kaito, and Maki were sent another, their parting done without much in the way of goodbyes or good luck statements. She _did_ hear one of them loudly yell that they believed in her and that she’d do great, but that was entirely expected given who had been brought as a guest.

All that was left was a little bit of preparation time before the show began, and she needed to buckle down and focus on making everyone there in that theater proud enough to want to support her even when she’d eventually have to take a break from performing. More importantly, she wanted to make her friends and husband proud to be there watching her, and she wouldn’t be able to do that if she was fretting about momentarily irrelevant things.

The others were being walked through the tunnel towards the stage (by a familiar man still holding a clipboard, Shuichi noted), and after being escorted around the stage’s edge they found themselves being escorted up a single step to the first row of seats. “No one mentioned that we’d be this close to the performance,” Maki remarked when one of the ushers directed her and Kaito to the first seats in the second row. “Did Kaede know when she invited us? Did you know when you told us we needed to get ready?”

“Yes on the second part, but I don’t know on the first one. Talking with Kaede has been…difficult to make happen recently, I’m afraid.” Shuichi’s eyes were on the stage, trying not to look at the seats next to his that were filling up with people he’d seen on the news or on advertisements for various companies. He needed to keep his composure and be strong for the woman he loved, to support her in what she was best at doing, and not let the absurdity of the situation get to him. “She might have been aware but she certainly didn’t tell me anything, the man that brought us in was the one who told me.”

“Ah, of course, ol’ Clippy over there would do the job just fine.” Kicking back in his seat as if he would naturally have been in such a formal scenario amongst such high-profile people, Kaito was in the process of putting a foot up on the back of the seat in front of him when Maki threatened to punch him for it. “Come on, I’m making the best of what we’ve been given! Would you rather me be trying to talk it up with someone around us?”

“On second thought, look like a bum, I don’t actually care what you do.” She wasn’t sitting down yet, her eyes scanning the mostly-empty upper levels of seats, but it was clear that Maki did, in fact, care what he did, and he knew it. He straightened up how he was sitting and apologized for looking bad, something that she ignored completely because she was occupied with other things.

At about the same time, she and Shuichi turned away from what they were focused on to look at each other, him giving her a raised eyebrow as she shook her head, telling him, “I’m sorry, something just doesn’t feel right about us being here in this spot. I need to be seated towards the middle, in case something happens.”

“I feel the same way, but at least right here we’ll be able to really see Kaede’s face as she performs, even if we won’t be able to easily see people around us.” That was when Shuichi saw a large wave of people coming into the theater, beginning to fill the upper seats that Maki had been watching moments before. He took in a shaky breath before going back to watching the stage, waiting for the orchestra to come in before he sat down. When he turned, Maki did as well, although this time she was looking at the impeccably-dressed people in the front two rows, people who made the three of them look completely underdressed. Mentally keeping tabs on everyone who was sitting around them was how she was going to cope with the odd position they were in, and no one was going to stop her.

Shuichi’s method of handling things required having Kaede in his sights, and until she was on the stage he was in a state of unease. Once the majority of attendees had taken their seats and the orchestra was mostly at the ready, the person in charge of the whole concert came to the stage, microphone in hand and began addressing the crowd, thanking them for their patronage and their willingness to see an up-and-coming local talent ready for her big break. Hearing someone refer to his wife in such a manner made his heart swell, but it filled to almost bursting when the proper introductions began. “It takes having a lot of talent to get a manager on the level of Gloria Patricia Lee to sign you on,” the man said, as the crowd erupted in applause at the mere mention of the manager that seemed so hands-on with Kaede’s career, “but our star of the evening shines brighter than any names previously attached to her. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we bring you an intimate evening with the lovely Kaede Akamatsu Saihara!”

All of the applause that had happened upon the first introduction was amplified tenfold at the sound of her name, and it grew even louder still as Kaede walked out onto the stage herself, bowing to the crowd before finding her seat on the piano bench. She didn’t do anything aside from sit there until the roar of the crowd died down, at which point she began playing music she didn’t even have to look at the notes for, the melody engrained in her mind and fingertips.

Watching her play that first song was something that Shuichi had done many times before, as she tended to open all of her performances with it, but this time was different. She looked worried, like she felt like something was going to go wrong as she was playing, but as she powered through he realized her expression wasn’t a worried one, but rather one keeping her lips firmly pressed together. She was trying not to open her mouth for some reason, and he had a feeling deep down that he knew what that reason was, and he equal parts hoped he was right and wrong about it.

For that entire first song his mind was dwelling on the possibility that he was right, and that she was keeping her lips pursed together like she was to keep herself from getting sick there on stage. She’d shown herself to be much more nervous about things before and yet had never acted like that, so equating her behavior to nerves wasn’t the best course of action. Unless, and it was a big unless, there was something else going on that was amplifying her nervous state, in which case it would make sense that she was trying not to get sick. The issue was, what was the root cause of her other problem that was mixing with her nerves due to her concert?

“Are you noticing how she’s acting a bit strange up there?” he leaned back and asked Maki once the first song had ended and the room had erupted in applause, Kaede’s face barely changing despite the heaps of praise being thrown at her. “She’s hiding something, but I can’t quite tell what it is.”

“She just looks like she has a lot on her mind right now. Don’t blame her one bit, this place is crowded.” Maki’s voice was fairly flat as she answered, leaning up to meet Shuichi halfway. “She’ll be fine, we know this.”

“I know we know this, but…” The applause was dying down and Kaede looked to be ready to begin her next piece, so whatever second half to that thought he had would remain unspoken. Sitting back up properly, just in case she happened to look his way and see him there, Shuichi found himself staring far too intently at her face, watching how stern her expression was the entire time. Normally she’d be mouthing things to herself, or counting notes, or doing something that had her smiling and looking energetic, especially by the time she’d gotten into her rhythm. This was so unlike her, it was beyond concerning, yet there was nothing he could do until the show was over and he was able to get to her side.

During the third song, which she transitioned into seamlessly from the previous one (a talent of hers that she showed off all the time at these sorts of performances), he saw her tense up, nearly miss a note, and swallow down as hard as she could as she recovered from her slip. It was most likely unnoticed by anyone who hadn’t seen her perform as many time as he had, but to Shuichi that was the final clue that something was wrong—even when she’d been incredibly nervous before, she’d never once let it be that obvious while she was on stage. Her nerves always subsided before she began playing, or if they didn’t she would laugh them off as she played. She wasn’t being bothered by nerves, and that meant, without a shadow of a doubt, that there was something else happening.

What that something else was, though, he wasn’t fully sure of, although he did have a couple ideas. After the song was finished and the applause took over the room, he was back to trying to talk to Maki, but she seemed to be focused on something else and not noticing that he was attempting to speak to her. When he heard Kaede’s voice fill the room, echoing through the speakers on the walls, he understood what Maki had been watching, something that had been going on up on stage in the moments he’d been trying to look back at her. Kaede wasn’t sitting at the piano anymore, but rather beside the bench with a microphone in her hand, reciting what had to have been a rehearsed script welcoming everyone to the show and talking about her excitement.

Her stance was off as she was talking, he noticed, because while he rarely saw her with a microphone in hand he did know that when she was holding something, her free hand tended to linger at her side. But up there on the stage, she had her free hand gripping her other arm at the elbow, almost as if she was supporting it while she spoke. Not only that, but her arms were drawn in tightly, giving the impression that she was hugging herself, trying to give herself some kind of comfort. “She’s hiding something,” he muttered, looking from her arms up to her face, which he could tell had gone back to be more along the lines of what her normal was. If she was nervous, she’d be trying to hide it while she was talking, but she seemed like she was in her element, perfectly comfortable there on the stage. “I just can’t fully put my finger on what it is.”

When she took her seat on the bench once more, her eyes drifted over towards the seats where she’d been told her guests would be sitting, and when she ended up locking eyes with Shuichi as he was still watching her, Kaede had to do her best to pretend like nothing unusual was going on. He could read her like a book, it was something people who knew each other on a deep level could do and with him being a detective by trade it was something he was very good at, and she knew that every little thing she did was being analyzed. There was only one way to find out what he’d decided was going on, and that was to get to the point of being able to talk to him after the concert. To get there, she had to get through the rest of her performance, and that was rather daunting when she felt like she was moments away from losing her control when she was sitting there at the piano.

The one relief she had was the intermission, where she was able to go behind the scenes and lock herself in one of the small practice rooms with nothing but the first trash can she’d found on her way there. If anyone needed to practice or tune their instrument, they’d need to do it somewhere else, because that whole intermission was spent with her sitting against the locked door, trash can in the middle of her legs so that she could use it as needed. Everything around her was loud with the bustling of the limited orchestra members going about their normal routines, the occasional knocks on the door from people trying to get in. She knew that it might look bad for her to be locked away somewhere but she didn’t want to break her attempt at a strong façade in front of anyone but herself.

When the call for the return to the stage was made, she collected herself as best as she could before unlocking the door and stepping back out into the backstage area, putting the trash can back where she’d gotten it from and pretending like nothing had happened. She was perfectly fine, there was nothing she was hiding from anyone, she was definitely not nervous and anyone who thought she was would be wrong about it. Going back out to the stage went better than her initial appearance, but now that she knew where Shuichi was sitting, she had to be careful as to not let her attention be drawn solely to him and the others. Her focus needed to be first on her performing, second on how she was feeling, and third on how the audience was receiving her.

For everything up until the final song, Kaede was able to keep up appearances, including whenever she was prompted to speak directly to the audience; if what was bothering her was nerves, that would have been the worst part by far, because while most of it was rehearsed just like the music, some of what she said was genuine from the heart. She talked to the crowd a bit about her personal life, a bit about what had gotten her into music, and even a bit about what she thought about music as a whole, and everyone seemed to love her honesty, which was soothing to see. If this crowd was so receptive to her now, she could only imagine how much they’d eat up her words in the future when she had more exciting stories to share with the people who’d paid to watch her play piano for a couple hours.

That thought was her undoing, when she put the microphone aside to take to her piano for her last song. Just like she’d rehearsed, she closed out her show with Clair de Lune, which hadn’t always been her choice for finale but it had enough meaning to her that she didn’t want to let it be overshadowed by anything else that she did. It was while she was playing the starting notes that she felt her stomach tighten, and she was having to force herself to constantly swallow down just to have a chance of making it to the end without throwing up there on the stage.

Her expression had changed back from at ease to straight-lipped and tense, and from where he was sitting Shuichi knew without a doubt what that meant. She was struggling to keep something to herself, which was a problem given that she was in front of such a large crowd of people, and her only hope was that they would be so enthralled with her flawless playing that they wouldn’t notice how she’d shifted back to being rather cold to everyone. With his eyes focused exclusively on her as she finished the song, the music drifting into nothingness as the applause in the crowd began, he watched her stand up, her hands grabbing each other as she set them to cover her stomach, before taking a single bow, mouth closed tightly the entire time.

The applause lasted for several minutes, time she spent looking increasingly less comfortable with what was going on, but that wasn’t the end of the show right there. Thanks had to be given to everyone who’d made the show possible, which meant people sitting in the front two rows of seats were being asked to stand and accept applause for their contributions. The man who owned the concert hall came first, and the cheers for him were nearly as loud as the ones for Kaede had been. After him came the major donors, standing up when their name or their foundation was announced, then came the smaller donors all in one lumped group with very little fanfare. Once all of them were thanked, the orchestra was dismissed, and it was only after they were completely cleared from the area that Kaede and the announcer both took their leave, only to come back once the crowd themselves was allowed to start leaving.

Without really thinking about the consequences of what he was going to do, Shuichi got up and went to the spot where they’d been allowed to get into the seats from the stage floor itself. He was staring straight at Kaede, who was trying her best not to look in his direction, something that was frustrating him. “Hey, don’t you think you should maybe mingle with some of those donors?” Maki asked him, coming up behind him without making a sound until she was speaking. “I bet making a good impression on them would be good for Kaede in the future.”

“I’m sure it would be, but I have to talk to her about something before she gets the chance to sneak away again,” he replied, before adding, “and besides, I’m sure Kaito’s done an excellent job of making them want to fund Kaede’s career.”

“If by ‘excellent job’ you mean ‘fell asleep and wasn’t paying attention’, then sure, you’re right.” She shook her head, before looking back to where she’d left Kaito still half-asleep in his seat, only to see that he was once again wide awake and was talking the ears off of the people right next to him, some of the major donors. Her jaw dropped slightly, a sigh escaping her lips before she gave Shuichi’s back a firm pat and stepped backwards towards her seat. “I’ll, ahem, take care of him and make sure he doesn’t sabotage her. You get out there to talk to her about whatever you need, I guess.”

He nodded, not quite sure how Kaito could sabotage anything if he was having fun conversation but trusting Maki’s judgment on the matter. Once she wasn’t behind him any longer he looked at the wall separating him from the stage and figured out how to open it, but before he had the chance to do it, the clipboard-carrying man came running towards him, getting the wall out of the way for him. “You are welcome to join your wife on stage now that the concert is over, Mr. Saihara,” the man said, offering a hand to help Shuichi down the single stair, something he accepted out of politeness. “She should be having to go to a signing here in a few moments, so let your reunion be brief.”

“There are people who want Kaede’s autograph?” The idea that she was famous enough to these people that they would want that from her was strange to him, but he wasn’t going to doubt it. Now he had a time limit on what he needed to talk to her about, and he was worried that she would use that to weasel out of addressing what was going on. As fast as he could he got to where she was standing, still looking out at the quickly-emptying seats, and he called her name as he approached, getting her to jump in surprise as she turned to face him. “That was amazing, watching you do what you do best,” he told her to start, holding his hands out to reach for hers but seeing that she wasn’t mirroring him. “Er, I mean, it really was, but is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I promise,” she replied, her hands still frozen in place in front of her. “I’ve just been so nervous about tonight that knowing it’s over is…relieving, if that makes sense? I survived and nothing went too badly somehow.”

The way Kaede was insistent that nothing was wrong was strange to Shuichi, and he wasn’t going to let her get away with it. “Yes, what you said makes sense, but it doesn’t match up with how you looked out there. You looked like you were trying to keep yourself from doing something, and, uh, I know that you usually smile when you’re playing.” Her eyes widened at his observation, before she cast them downward towards her hands. “You’re not going to tell me what’s wrong, I know, but I also know you weren’t nervous while playing. That was all something else.”

“That’s a smart deduction, I knew I could count on you to see past my lie there.” She gave a small laugh before groaning, her hands tightening together a bit. “I was more nervous about this conversation than anything, really, because I knew once you saw me struggling it would be the end of me keeping things to myself.”

Knowing that her words had to be some sort of hint, Shuichi tried to think of what she could be referring to before noticing that she had lifted her eyes up towards him and was giving him the most sheepish of smiles. “You know it’s hard to come to conclusions when you’re looking at me like that,” he said, raising a hand to begin fidgeting with the end of his tie. “I’m sure you’re trying to give me another hint, but the only thing that’s coming to mind is…er, it’s something that I don’t think you’d keep secret from me, if we’re being honest.”

“You can’t leave me hanging like that, so what do you think it is?”

His hand left his tie alone to reach for her once more, this time not waiting for her to meet him halfway as he rested his palm on top of her hands. “Kaede, I want you to tell me if I’m right or not as seriously as you can, but based on everything I’ve seen and how well I know you, I know that you being sick today has been nothing to do with nerves. And I’m sure that if it was food poisoning, you wouldn’t have been able to show as much restraint as you have with it. Which, and I don’t know why you’d keep this secret from me if it’s true, the only real answer I have left is that you’re pr—”

Rather than let him finish what he was saying, she thrust her face into his and kissed him for a moment, breaking away once people still in the area noticed that they were kissing and begun cheering for them. “Don’t be so loud about it, okay? It’s not something I want everyone knowing, not when I guess it could jeopardize my career for happening right now.”

“—so you are?” The kiss had caught him by surprise, but her positive reaction to what he’d said was what he was expecting, seeing as it was either that or something far worse. He looked her in the eyes for a second before his attention fell to where their hands were still touching, her protectiveness of her stomach a damning clue in hindsight. “How long have you been expecting me to figure this out?”

“I’ve known for a few weeks, but there’s only like two others who’ve known about it until now, don’t worry. I thought you’d like to figure it out yourself, since that’s kind of what you do for a living, solve mysteries and all that.” Kaede seemed at peace with how he’d reacted to finding out, knowing that he wasn’t going to be too exuberant but also wasn’t going to be unhappy about anything. “Sorry that our lives got kind of crazy right when I found out, you really would have been able to guess right away if we’d been together more.”

“It’s okay, you couldn’t control the timing.” There were a lot of thoughts flooding Shuichi’s mind in that moment, most of them about how he didn’t know how to handle learning that his wife, the woman he loved so dearly, had just confirmed to him that she was with child. It wasn’t something he’d really thought about, even though it was something that he’d known was possible. “It explains why you’d be on the verge of throwing up on stage, that’s for certain. And…let me guess, Maki was one of the people you told, wasn’t she?”

“Not intentionally, but yes. She’s known almost as long as I have, and I knew she wouldn’t tell you a word about it so it seemed okay.” There were so many things she could have added to what she was saying that it felt almost overwhelming to add anything at all; however, the choice was made for Kaede when she heard several people calling her name from the backstage area, and when she turned she could see some of the stagehands standing there with Gloria in the middle, all of them waving for her to come to them. “I guess I have to go do autographs now, we can talk more about this once we’re home. I’m so excited to not have this still be a secret from you!”

She had already taken a couple steps away when he realized she was leaving, and all he could do was wave after her, not wanting to get roped into autographs with her. As he walked back towards the step up into the seating area, he couldn’t get the fact that she’d really tried keeping something that big hidden from him. Sure, it wasn’t done maliciously, and their schedules being so hectic had helped her out tremendously, but the fact still remained that she had given it her best shot. All that, to be undone by him knowing her performance habits so well that he could tell something was off about her. Something that _he_ was partially responsible for, no less.

That thought hit him hard, that he was partially responsible for something that was going to impact her career in ways that weren’t related to performances. She enjoyed playing her piano for these kinds of crowds, was she going to be too torn up when motherhood stripped that away from her, if even just temporarily? Or was she going to embrace the change, accepting that in that moment, family mattered more than music? That was a lot to think about, and he knew they had a lot of time before they’d have to cross that bridge.

Right at that moment, it was time to pretend like nothing was going on and that the biggest thing in her life was finding out how this show was going to impact her future performances. Shuichi might have now been in on the secret, but until Kaede said so, it was a secret worth keeping between them.


End file.
